Stressed and Anxious
The Fundamentals of a Great Marriage
There are two types of marriages. A marriage in which a couple is married and cares about each other and another in which the couple loves each other and supports the development of each emotionally and spiritually. I met my wife in Russia. Our romance was something of a whirlwind romance. There are times when you just know something is right. You do not know why you do it - you just know you must.
When we first started talking about building a family, my wife was very careful about saying a family was the most important thing for her. She was quick to point out that she wanted to build a family as quickly as possible. Now consider this scenario. Imagine we had gone ahead and had children. I am sure she would have been happy.
I am sure I would have been happy. We would have lived our lives happily together taking care of our children and eventually seeing them of to marriage. At the age of about 50, we would have begun our lives together. But that is not what happened. And the purpose of this contribution is to give my thoughts on why it did not. My wife is in her early twenties. The reason she left Russia is purely to be with me. I did not live in wealthy part of the world at the time, nor did I live in a wealthy part of a poor country. I just lived an average life. She came away to live our lives together, to grow together.
I kept this in the back of my mind every time we spoke about building a family. As her husband, I knew it was my responsibility to do what was right for her. I always noticed the excitement and twinkle in her eye whenever she read new books and listened to my friends discuss a client case or business challenge. I believed she had the potential to be more than she thought she could. The first time I broached the subject of starting her own business, she shied away. I believed this was more because of a lack of self-confidence than a lack of ability. I spent much time teaching her about simple business principles and ideas – in a fun way. I used the example of American media and movies to explain the idea of branding and the work I do. I bought her a laptop and the tools to learn how to work in an office environment. I introduced her to people who were nice and successful at the careers.
The next time I mentioned starting her own business, she tentatively accepted the idea – but waited for my response. I gave her all the support she could possibly need. I took time of from my busy schedule to help her plan her new business, I taught her the fundamentals of business and how it should be conducted. The reason I choose this example is fairly simple. She comes from a country in which the men naturally dominate. Even if she had the potential and enthusiasm to do something new, she was looking for my support and encouragement. I gave her the basic skills to continue to grow as a person. By growing herself, she as matured our relationship and ultimately myself. It is something many men worry about. Will their wives turn into something they so dread? – The archetypical Americanized wife who will put her needs before your own.
And I always have the same answer. Your wife will only become what she always was. Her principles will never change. They will merely manifest themselves in new ways. If she believes in loving her husband, she will do this no matter what happens or where she goes. To answer the questions above – your Russian wife is in a new country and relying on you to be her guide, friend, teacher, confidant and husband. Your actions will ultimately determine the way you act Remember, like any women with the dream of a fairytale romance (and this would be all women) she will do anything to show her love. If you show her love, respect, care, sacrifice and forgiveness, she will reciprocate these actions. You need to understand the responsibility you have.
Stressed and Anxious Articles
Stressed and Anxious Books
Stressed and Anxious